rbritto9398

Aug 26, 2011

If someone hid me, will I see if they look at my profile?

sfguyyy

Aug 26, 2011

Depends on whether they have "anonymous browsing" turned-on or not, and whether or not you do.

If the answer is "no" in both cases, yes they will appear in your profile visitors list if they view your profile.

 

corn_dog_soup

Aug 26, 2011

Yes. You can still see them, unless they're browsing anonymously. They just won't show up on your home page, Quiver, left bar, etc. anymore. Their IM bubble also will not show up when they're signed in (if they actually use it in the first place).

 

^ Guess he answered 30 seconds before me.

rbritto9398

Aug 26, 2011

But they don't see of I use there's.....ok.  Just wanted to make sure that I wasn't hidden just to be stalked hahaha

corn_dog_soup

Aug 26, 2011

^ No. They just have to change to anonymous when they want to go on a stalker trip, then back to regular mode when they've gleaned all of their desired information.

 

FWIW- You can see anonymous stalkers visit your profile when you have your IM on (or they have theirs on); they pop up in the blue box at the lower right for a few seconds, but never show up on your visitor list.

rbritto9398

Aug 28, 2011

But they can't see if I view them......interesting

corn_dog_soup

Aug 29, 2011

Unless you are browsing anonymously (you wouldn't have a visitor list then), they can see you visit.  Doesn't matter whether there's been hiding, blocking, blackballing, whiteballing, blueballing involved... the only thing that keeps your mug from showing on the list is the 'anonymous' thing.

rbritto9398

Aug 29, 2011

Ok, now I'm more confused.  I know I don't show up in their visitor list because this is what it states, so do they show up in mine????  above says no, but below makes me feel differently. 

 

 

Hiding Matches

If you keep seeing a profile you don’t want to see anymore, you can hide it. That member will no longer appear in your sidebar matches, homepage matches, Match Search results, your Visitors list, or anywhere else on the site. Hiding profiles works both ways, meaning that hiding a user will also hide your profile from them; see the Privacy help page for more about this.

To hide a user, visit their profile and click the “Hide” button in the upper-right.

If you’re looking at Match Search results, you can also hide someone by clicking the “Hide” button next to their result.

corn_dog_soup

Aug 29, 2011

Okay. I stand to be corrected. Guess I don't have an answer. I never monkey around with the hide user function; I just ignore the ones I'm not interested in.

 

You seem quite concerned with whether or not you're showing up in someone's stalker list... What are you up to??

sfguyyy

Aug 29, 2011

Yes, hiding users is reciprocal these days, I didn't mention that in my previous response.

Then again, obsessing about who shows up in profile visitor lists is a waste of good time/energy.

 

rbritto9398

Aug 29, 2011

Yeah, it's not so much as who can see that I checked there's, as much as me seeing who checked mine.  I find it kinda creepy that someone can "hide" you and then stalk your profile hahahaha

so that's what I was wondering, if I would KNOW that they were still looking

sfguyyy

Aug 29, 2011

[rant]

My point remains: it really isn't particularly productive, IMHO, to obsess about profile visitor lists.

I have never liked it when people jump to conclusions based solely on the fact that someone showed-up in their visitor list or not. There are tons of reasons why someone might view your profile that have nothing to do with being 'stalkery' or obsessive or 'in-love' or whatever, and even if they 'like to look', so do tons of people that you pass on the street.

I have long maintained that if people in the year 1200 had the ability to enumerate and compile detailed statistics of every person that ever paid attention to them as they walked down the street, chaos would have ensued. The simple fact that we can document and compile stats on every person that 'glances our way' here on OkCupid does not make what people would do in public anyway any 'creepier' than it's ever been.

And for those who play coy and sit on their tuffet waiting for someone to glance at them (via profile visitor list), or those who hope that someone else should have the burden of contacting them simply because they 'glanced' at them that way, I also have little sympathy. If people are interested in someone, they should express that directly and not be so passive-aggressive. If not, let the other person stew in their shyness and/or fearfulness and/or coyness.

[/rant]

 

appetiteforlife

Aug 29, 2011

What about all these guys who keep changing their usernames?  I have hidden the same idiots over and over and over.  I would think that, if they change their username, their profile would have some other kind of identifying property so that I don't have to keep hiding them every time.

Stalkers always seem to find a way.  There is one guy I've both blocked and hidden at least 12 times, and he keeps popping up with a new name and sends me messages.

If they are just disabling and joining under another new name, that sucks.  Is there a limit to how many times one can do that from a certain IP address or something?

sfguyyy

Aug 29, 2011

^That's precisely the reason why it's silly to get all worked-up because OkCupid doesn't provide a "hide  profile" feature, for example. It's too easy for some OCD twit with too much time on their hands to just create a new profile to evade such blocks.

That pretty much goes with the free dating-website industry. If OkCupid made it less easy for people to create profiles here, the users would migrate to the other sites that don't make it so hard.

If you are having problems with obsessive guys hounding you, and you still want to use a free dating site like this, I have 2 recommendations:

  1. Please make sure you flag accounts that keep trying to circumvent blocks. OkCupid may eventually take more drastic measures to keep them from continually creating new profiles to evade blocks. In your flag comment, please detail exactly what they are doing.
  2. Do not get into big arguments/pissing-wars with people that are bugging you. Obsessive twits just get more enraged/pissed-off/obsessive in such cases. Just ignore them, do not make a single reply, and block them. And then flag them as per #1 if they keep coming back.

Also, make use of the filtering/blocking features to minimize the likelihood of having to deal with them. If you are getting harassed via IM, consider turning it OFF by default and only allowing certain users to IM you. If the problem is email, you can set parameters to 'grey out' messages from profiles that don't meet certain parameters.

 

sfguyyy

Aug 29, 2011

 

BTW:

 

I have hidden the same idiots over and over and over.

 

"Hiding" is not what you want. You have to BLOCK them.

Please see this post for all the details.

 

appetiteforlife

Sep 4, 2011

I both Block AND Hide them.  Also, I do everything you've described in your previous message, except flagging someone.  I actually looked for a way to do that.  Do you flag the profile or the message?  I don't have the messages anymore and don't recall what his latest username is.

 

Beyond the issue of stalkers, there are some people I just like to hide because they are so far out of my preferences or so unattractive that I am tired of seeing their faces go by the top of the home page over and over.  So I Hide them, but them they pop up again because they've got a new name.  So frustrating.

sfguyyy

Sep 4, 2011

 

appetiteforlife:

You should always flag the messages, otherwise you're going to be hard-pressed to prove those allegations since anyone can make up false stories about their enemies.

However block-evading via creation of numerous profiles is probably easily considered abuse in-and-of-itself, and site admins may be able to corroborate that without message flags, but it's always better to flag messages if you can. And needless to say, it's not going to be easy to crack down on 'em if you can't provide the username(s). :P

Re: hiding and blocking in general: the only way you could have a 'sticky' block on a user on any dating website (or any website at all) is if the website required absolute proof of every individual's actual identity before allowing them to signup. That's hard enough to do for banks and such without the person showing up physically, much less dating-websites that compete on characteristics like how quickly a user can signup and start using the site.

So I personally think one has to take a different attitude in a place like this, and use different tactics.

But perhaps you can answer one thing for me: you say in your profile you are absolutely not here for dating, yet you have what I would consider to be a very attractive profile pic up (esp for someone your age), and talk in your profile about trying to get even more pics uploaded. If you are just here for discussions, why do you even post a profile pic? The quickest way for a female to cut down on unwanted attention on this site (or most sites like it) is simply to remove your profile pic or make it obscure/uninteresting. (In addition to making it very clear in your profile essays you aren't interested in dating - which you already do.) Any particular aversion to trying that?

 

 

MaziT

Sep 5, 2011

Is there a way to view your hidden user's list in the order in which you hid them? When I see my list it seems kind of random. What if I accidentally hid a user and now want to un-hide them but I don't remember their username? How do I go about un-hiding them?

sfguyyy

Sep 5, 2011

The list of hidden users is on your profile settings page. (direct link)

However you have to un-hide profiles one-by-one, there is no function to do that all at once, that I know of.

 

 

MaziT

Sep 5, 2011

Ouch. I have too many hidden to try and un-hide one by one. Oh well. Thanks.

Post a comment